Monday, August 14, 2006

That Summer - Lvnsm27

Editor's Note - Once again slightly out of order. Here is Lvnsm27's effort.

Happily, I am able to report that I am expecting a number of new submissions this week. Thanks to everyone who submitted and everyone who is about to. And the doors are always open for anyone else who wants to write some fiction. Enjoy.

School has ended and vacation has begun. Evan who’s 14, was walking down the street and then passed by a pizza shop and saw inside the window, a group from school who were seniors, sitting at a table. He always wanted to join them but felt shy because they are older than him. And so he just walked on.

Inside, the group was eating lunch and talking. Ryan said, "What's really annoying, is when drivers don't look before turning left and almost him you." "What happened?" Natalie asked. He replied, "What happened was, I was crossing the street and made sure while I was walking that no cars were coming. And then all of a sudden a car turning left was coming straight towards me before quickly stopping." "I hate when that happens." Jonathan said. Then Jessica remembered something that she saw and said, "Okay guys, I saw a really funny billboard today while I was driving." "Where?" Amanda asked. "Like about a mile from here." Jessica replied and continued, “It showed a picture of Smokey the bear and said, "Remember, only you can prevent bears in hats." They all chuckled. "What was it an ad for?" Steven asked. "I don't know." She replied. They continued to talk and eat for a while and then they finally left.

It was night time, and for a while now, Evan has been having a hard time falling asleep and didn't know why. And so he got out of bed and looked out the window. The sky was a medium blue. And the leaves on the trees were rustling in the mild wind. He stayed out of bed for awhile and then decided to go back to bed and try again.

The next day, Evan told his parents about his problem and that it takes a long time before he finally does fall asleep. "Is there something on your mind that's bothering you maybe?" His mother asked. "No, not really." He replied. Then they gave him suggestions that he could do to help him, like reading or clearing his mind of thoughts. Later on, he was using the computer and then went to go play basketball with those at the park.

Amanda and Natalie were at a shopping center and in the store Forever 21, looking through the clothing. Natalie, who was talking about others from school said, "So have you seen Erica and Jason and their friends recently?" "No." Amanda replied. "Why not?" "Because everything was getting too dramatic for me. At first, things were fine, but then a couple of them became very annoying, constantly complaining about different problems and making up stories about being chased by people. And so I decided to leave." Amanda told her. "Yeah it's probably best that you do. You don't need that." "Yeah. And I'm not that close to them anyway, which makes it easier to slip out."

Steven and Jonathan were in the store Tower Records nearby, looking at the albums. “What do you prefer?” Jonathan asked. “Going to a concert or just listening to the band's CD?” "Going to the concert, of course." Steven answered. "Not me, I prefer listening to the album. I can't enjoy the music with everyone in the place screaming and can't see the band either with others standing in front of me. Plus the album is much cheaper and I can hear it when I want." "Yeah, but at a concert you're with your friends and even with the inconveniences you still have a good time."

Evan was using the computer again and was looking at different things and then went to a certain blog. It had a message on it about a computer worm that's been spreading recently. And it claimed that the culprits are... he couldn't believe it, the group he knows from school. "What the.." he said. And just sat there and starred, in his horrible shock.

Later that night, he was at the beach with a couple of friends, along with other teens there and others in their early 20's. He and his friends Matt and Alex spotted a bonfire. "Lets go over there." Matt said. And they went towards it. Sitting there was the group Evan knows. They sat down next to them and all greeted each other and then conversed about different things. Evan looked at the flames. And then looked at those sitting around and their glowing faces. He thought about what he read and felt a little on edge. He just never expected this from them and now feels that he doesn't really know them.

Finally, the next day, they found out too when Amanda saw the message and called the others. They all met at Steven's house. “Wait, so let me get this straight.” Ryan said. “Someone is claiming that we are responsible for the worm that's going around?” "Apparently." Amanda said. She showed them the message and they were astonished. "Who's doing this and why?" Jessica asked.

"That's what we have to find out." Steven answered.


Blogger Scraps said...

Ooh, suspense! I guess I'll have to wait until the next installment to hear more. ;-)

One suggestion--some of the details are extraneous, and I think they detract from the story that's being told. If you feel like they're important, you can slip them in more subtly--for instance, instead of saying "Evan, who's 14" you could slip in a line somewhere about 9th grade, or that sort of thing. I'm not trying to criticize, just making a suggestion that I hope is helpful.

9:27 AM  
Blogger Lvnsm27 said...


12:05 PM  

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